Inside: Learn about 10 ways that simplifying your life can make you a better mom. This is a guest blog post from Practigal Blog.
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I am so excited to share this guest post with you from my sweet friend, Sheila, who blogs over at Practigal Blog. She writes to encourage moms in all stages of motherhood to simplify their lives and prioritize what matters most. Sheila has a fantastic resource library full of printables to develop a capsule wardrobe and simplify your life.
In this post, Sheila has an amazing perspective to share about minimalism and how it has positively impacted her motherhood. She is completely open and honest with us about how she struggled as a mom (like most of us do!) and she shares the steps she took to bring back the joy in her motherhood journey.
This post seriously gave me the chills as I was reading it and I couldn’t stop saying “Yes, me too!!”
I hope you enjoy this post as much as I do! Be sure to leave a comment to let Sheila and I know what you think.
Let’s get right to it!
10 Ways Simplifying My Life Made Me A Better Mom
Motherhood is hard. It brings out the best in us…and the worst. It shows us what love is, and how far short we can fall. Motherhood changes a lot over time as well. We feel the urge to get back out there…to exit the mother/child bubble and do something else with our lives. Couple that with our desire to give our child the best life possible, and our lives quickly become overwhelming with all that there is to be and do.
My Parenting Struggles
I’m not gonna lie— I thought I was a pretty patient person before I had children. I just knew I’d be the fun mom. I’d be the mom who gracefully floated back and forth from friend to disciplinarian, from laughing to serious and sincere conversation, from creating adventure to using all of these opportunities to train my kids in the way they should go.
Well, let’s just say that graceful is not how I would come to describe myself. It seemed more like I abruptly went from being silly and dancing around the room to screaming my head off about the ice cream one of my children got on my iPad.
So instead, I felt so guilty about so many things all. the. time.
I felt guilty about my lack of grace in parenting and my inability to keep up with cleaning the house and laundry. The shame would come flooding back again and again as I turned down invitations to play with my kids and let important relationships die out of exhaustion and not knowing who I was anymore.
And instead of serving my family out of love, I began to do it out of obligation and felt unappreciated much of the time. Why didn’t they see all that I did for them? Why don’t they offer to help? Didn’t they see that if they stopped making such a mess I would have time to play with them?
How I Knew I Needed to Make a Change
I knew I didn’t want to just survive motherhood, always waiting for the current stage to be over so that the next stage that would supposedly make my life easier could come. I wanted to live in the moment and soak up the time I have with my kids.
And, the time I spent with my kids could either be spent nagging and yelling or bonding and training. More than anything, I needed to find a way to have the latter become the norm.
Now, I’m not perfect. I haven’t solved all of my problems, and I am still the mom who wishes she was better than she really is. But, if there is one thing that has helped me be a better mom (and wife, and friend, and daughter), it’s the work I’ve done to simplify my life.
Where before I was too exhausted to prioritize the people in my life, I now have the energy to play dolls on the floor with my youngest, draw and paint with my middle child, and play badminton in the backyard all day long with my oldest. I’ve found that I can “do it all” when “all” only includes what’s most important to me.
Simplifying my life made me a better mom because it freed me up to be more, and to do more of what’s important and less of what just isn’t. Pursuing more simplicity in life allowed me to make the changes that were necessary to improve my relationship with my kids.
The Areas I Simplified
The first thing I simplified was my list of priorities.
I knew that my list of priorities was too long for any human to reasonably focus on and accomplish. I was trying to do too much, and so I was spread too thin. But first, I had to stop comparing my life to those around me. I had to decide what was important to me and how much I could handle.
After that, I simplified my home.
I began to declutter the things that were adding unnecessary stress to my life. I made assessing the things in my home and decluttering a regular priority. And, I redefined “enough” for our family, and knew that my kids would be better off with fewer, intentionally chosen, toys.
Next, I simplified my time.
Simplifying my home and all of the stuff in it naturally did some of the work for me. Less stuff = less to pick up and clean. But I also worked on simplifying my time outside of the home.
I stepped down from roles that weren’t right for me. (The volunteer position teaching Sunday school at church had to go. It was a good thing, but it was not MY good thing.) And, I practiced saying no to good things when I had something even more important to do. I think that was the hardest part for me…learning to not fill my schedule with too many things in the first place.
Finally, I worked on simplifying my mind.
By that, I mean that I had to learn which of my regular thoughts were untrue and holding me back. I honestly thought I didn’t deserve better! Once I identified which of my thoughts were keeping me from being a better person and mom, I was able to take steps out of my comfort zone and fill my mind with new (and true) thoughts about myself and others.
Instead of thinking that I’m shy, flaky, sad, or bitter, I filled my mind with thoughts of who I want to be: bold, faithful, joyful, and loving. I reminded myself that I am loved, so I can love. And instead of thinking that my kids are stubborn, rebellious, or needy, I remembered that they are strong, curious, and in need of love.
The Importance of Each Day
Explaining how simplifying my life made me a better mom is really easy for me.
Simplifying each of these areas made a huge difference because unimportant things weren’t taking up the majority of my time anymore.
After all, “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.” This quote by Annie Dillard in her book, The Writing Life, says so much about the importance of each and every day. For this reason, I want to choose presence over productivity each and every day.
How about you?
10 Ways Simplifying Made Me a Better Mom
Although you’ve probably already gathered this, I want to list all of the ways simplifying my life made me a better mom. It really has made all the difference, and these are all of the benefits that I so badly want for you.
So, here we go! Simplifying my life gave me:
1. More Time For My Kids
A more simple home and schedule left me with more time to spend with my kids. Now, I can easily block off time on my calendar every week to spend quality time with each of my children!
2. More Energy For My Kids
Having less to do means that I have more energy. My kids are no longer getting my leftovers, but the best of me! Not only that, but I generally feel more rested. That’s because I’m not lying awake at night thinking about everything I have to do the next day.
3. More Gratitude For My Kids
Simplifying my life made me a better mom in that it caused me to have more gratitude for my kids and what we have. Instead of seeing what isn’t there, I can now see what is and appreciate it. I can more easily see my children for the blessing that they are instead of little humans keeping me from doing what I really wanted. With less stuff cluttering my home and schedule, I have immense gratitude for the things and people I have in my life.
Related post: How To Implement a Daily Gratitude Practice
4. More Joy With My Kids
With being more present comes experiencing more joy in the everyday moments. I’m not too distracted to notice how good I have it, and I’m not too busy to have fun and enjoy my life.
5. More Clarity In Life
Simplifying my life made me a better mom, because I had to get clear on my priorities. I had to KNOW what I wanted out of life. Life is so much less overwhelming and confusing when you have a clear picture of the life you want. If you struggle with finding clarity, the key for me was thinking about the end of my life and realizing what kind of regrets I would have in the end.
6. The Ability To Say Yes, And No
An intentionally simplified life causes you to fight for what is important. You learn to say yes again and again to your top priorities. And, you learn to say no, unapologetically, to protect your time in favor of what matters most.
7. Teaching Points For My Kids
Simplifying my life made me a better mom, it enabled me to teach them some valuable lessons. Obviously getting clear on my priorities and simplifying my life around them is teaching me a lot. It also gives me so many opportunities to train my kids. I am able to show my kids the importance of enough. I can teach them how to prioritize well. And, I can show my kids how to live in the moment and enjoy their lives.
8. Ability To Encourage Creativity
Simplicity encourages creativity. When you have fewer things, you have to get creative to make the most of them. For my kids, having fewer toys has taught them how to be creative. I’ve loved watching their imagination and creativity grow over time! By not entertaining them all the time, I can see their uniqueness come to life. So now I know exactly how to encourage and nurture each of their abilities.
9. A Go-With-The-Flow Attitude
I’m pretty type-A. I love to plan, and I like life to be predictable. Simplifying my life made me a better mom in that it helped me let go of needing control a little. I can allow messes to happen, knowing that they are part of childhood (and life!). They don’t feel like the end of the world anymore. And, with the freedom in my schedule comes a flexibility I’ve never known before. Stress is such a rare thing these days!
10. Ability To Set Reasonable Expectations
It’s not that I don’t have expectations of my children, it’s that I don’t have unreasonable expectations of them. I know that I made my life stressful and overwhelming for myself before, and I don’t want that for my children. It’s important that my kids learn to prioritize and love people. And it’s important that my kids learn to take care of themselves.
It’s NOT important that my kids are in all of the activities and what the world calls “well-rounded”. Each of my kids is different…with different likes/dislikes, different abilities, and different capacities. Expecting too much (or too little) of them would be bad parenting.
So, it’s true that simplifying my life made me a better mom. I feel like simplifying my life actually saved my motherhood. In fact, simplifying my life saved, well, my life! Having a simpler home, schedule, and mental wellness literally changed everything for me.
I want this for you, mama. I want you to experience the freedom and joy that comes from simplifying every area of your life. Won’t you join me on the path towards a more simple life? Stop waiting for the change that you think is coming “some day”, and start experiencing real change now!
How will you begin pursuing a little bit more simplicity in your life today? Let us know in the comments!
About Sheila:
Sheila Price is a wife, mom of three, minimalist, and introvert. Over on Practigal Blog, she helps busy women like you simplify every area of life so that you can prioritize what matters most to you. She always gives practical tips to make your life both easier and more fulfilling. From decluttering tips, to organizing help and tips on living a more meaningful life, Sheila’s blog is full of resources to help you improve your life. Ready to begin simplifying your life? Check out her “Simplify My Life! Starter Kit” and begin taking steps towards the life you want today! You can also connect with Sheila on Instagram, Facebook, or Pinterest!
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